Travelling or based outside United States? Video availability outside of United States varies. Sign in to see videos available to you. Rentals include 7 days to start watching this video and 7 days to finish once started. Close Menu. Make Me A Match is the portrait of three Jewish-Orthodox singles — their matchmakers and their effort to stay loyal to a possibly outdated tradition. More purchase options.
History of Jewish Matchmakers
In Orthodox Jewish circles, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner. Both sides usually the parents, close relatives or friends of the persons, and the singles themselves, involved make inquiries about the prospective partner, e. A shidduch often begins with a recommendation from family members, friends or others who see matchmaking as a mitzvah , or commandment.
Some engage in it as a profession and charge a fee for their services. Usually a professional matchmaker is called a shadchan , but anyone who makes a shidduch is considered the shadchan for it. After the match has been proposed, the prospective partners meet a number of times to gain a sense of whether they are right for one another.
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Shidduch: Jewish Dating
Such service was virtually indispensible during the Middle Ages when custom frowned on courtships and numerous Jewish families lived in semi-isolation in small communities. Shadkhanim were thus relied upon to gather and evaluate information on the personal qualities and background of potential spouses in order to ensure a felicitous and holy union. Their recompense, fixed by custom, was often a percentage of the dowry.
In some of the larger Jewish communities of eastern Europe, the reputation of shadkhanim was marred by the appearance of less than sincere matchmakers who were more interested in turning a financial profit than in honest representation.
Read the rules of the Jewish dating game. Building a strong marriage relationship The Secret of a Good Matchmaker · Living Together Before Marriage?
Love is in the air during the lockdown with matchmaking service We Go Together reporting an increase in new relationships. Open to any member of the London area Jewish community over the age of 28, the free enterprise was set up three years ago by Lady Daniela Pears. Those involved anticipated a decrease in interest during the lockdown. In fact it has been the opposite. Although not religious, a Jewish partner was culturally important to him. Simon enjoyed a date with a new partner a few days before the lockdown began.
It went well to the point that they were the last people to leave the restaurant after chatting all night. Since then they have remained in touch through phone and FaceTime chats and delivering gifts to each other while observing social distancing.
Who Do You Turn to After Your 60th JDate?
The production made history: the first musical to surpass 3, performances, it went on to win nine Tony awards, including Best Musical and Best Score. Four Broadway revivals and one successful film adaptation later, the story of Tevye and his daughters remains alive in popular culture. Based on the book by Yiddish master storyteller Sholem Aleichem, Tevye attempts to preserve his family and Jewish traditions while outside influences threaten to derail all he knows.
Sparks Matchmaking connects Jewish individuals for companionship, marriage, and continuity. So far, 20 couples are married and 12 couples.
The world of dating can be rough. There are bars and parties, organized singles groups, websites and apps, swiping right and swiping left. Melamed believes matchmaking is in her blood. Originally from Boro Park in Brooklyn, Melamed says her mother has done matchmaking for decades. After high school, Chani herself, caught the bug and dabbled in matchmaking.
She was successful and became a matchmaker with Saw You at Sinai, a dating and matchmaking website with an Orthodox bent, although it serves Jews of all backgrounds. And yes, Chani and David were set up by a mutual acquaintance. She is also a health coach for Optavia, a weight-loss program. S ince Chani and David Melamed moved to Denver six-and-a-half years ago, she has continued to do matchmaking on a national basis, both through Saw You at Sinai and her own network of contacts.
In Denver, she has effectuated one shidduch that resulted in marriage — that of her brother-in-law Yitzy Melamed and his wife, the former Shira Tessler. Some matchmakers do that and they give us bad names, sadly. Melamed maintains a website, suggestashidduch.
I Asked the ‘Jewish Tinder’ to Make Me a Match
That was, apparently, the wrong answer. Never mind. I had just been sized up, then dismissed, as a potential match. A dentist by training, she long ago gave up that career for her full-time calling as a shadchen, to use the Hebrew and Yiddish word for one who makes shidduchs, or matches.
The correct term for a Jewish matchmaker is shadchanit for a woman, shadchan for a man. Judith Gottesman helps love-seeking Jews in.
Their connection felt genuine and she was eager to cut out the middleman. Her future husband was less certain and suggested they wait. For instance, a shadchen acting as an intermediary at the beginning of a relationship served Lily in her early 20s, but was less effective as she matured. Lily attributes this disconnect to the reality that shidduch dating was originally intended for people in their late teens and early 20s. He says that, thanks to his work, 58 couples have gotten engaged.
He generally sets up young, secular Jews, because he feels that non-Orthodox Jews have limited dating resources. He also writes a monthly advice column in The CJN. Finding your soulmate is reuniting those two lost halves, whose destinies have been entwined from the start. For Anna Sherman, a marriage and family therapist who for 17 years has made matches in her spare time, the motivation to set people up stems from a distinct sense of empathy for the emotional distress shidduch dating can cause.
Three couples she introduced have gotten married. She often matches people who are baal teshuvah, or have become more observant, as she knows from experience that they are often stigmatized in the religious dating world. As a therapist, Sherman feels as though she has more insight into what matters to people and how they operate than many others do. She cites what she says is a plausible scenario, wherein a shadchen might help a couple figure out if they should get married or break up.
Is there any room to work on this, or are you at an impasse?
Debunking the Jewish Concept of Beshert
Religious faith has long held a strong link to matchmaking and arranged marriage. In Jewish tradition, God was the original matchmaker, creating Eve out of Adam’s rib so that the two could share company and procreate [source: Kadden and Kadden ]. Therefore, matchmakers held a prominent position in Jewish history. Fathers customarily bore the responsibility of selecting adequate grooms for their daughters and might request assistance from a local matchmaker, or shadchan , to seek out an eligible bachelor.
Outward appearance is an important consideration in marital choice, and in traditional Jewish society matchmakers played a significant role in introducing.
She describes how we need to create our own relationship and potential marriage future: You first need to imagine it and then it will manifest for you Are you thinking and saying negative things? Think of what you WANT to happen and send the message out into the universe. Think it and say it ONLY if that is what you want. Thoughts have immense, powerful energy and so do words. You must turn your situation around by thinking and saying positive messages.
In this New Year, , get help to identify your fears, mental blocks, and blind spots that are keeping you stuck. Are you entrenched in negativity? I am a very good guy and I am a perfect match for that new woman. Think about the happiest, most successful people. They are positive in every way. Yes, they have reason to be, but they had to start out by imagining it true for themselves.
They visualize new and wonderful people and places. And you will, too, from this moment forth. This New Year, wishing you the tweaks you need to create a dynamic new relationship for yourself and a special someone.
In every cemetery, a few headstones stand out among the neat rows of ordinary grave markers and spark the imagination. In Jewish cemeteries in Turkey, these special markers not only served as a memorial to the deceased. They also elevated the social standing of the living, says Minna Rozen, a professor emeritus of Jewish history at the University of Haifa, who has documented more than 61, such tombstones.
Rozen, who specializes in the history of Jews in the Ottoman Empire, spent two years, between and , documenting the graves of Jews buried across Turkey from the late 16th century to the late 20th century.
Host Aisha Harris met Selber in coffee shop to talk about her job, the history of matchmaking in Jewish culture, and what it takes to find the.
We pride ourselves on our ability to find a perfect match for everyone. We recognize that the practice of matchmaking has been around for centuries. One of the longest traditions of matchmaking is in Jewish communities within Eastern Europe and Russia. A Jewish matchmaker is referred to as a shadchan. It is said that the very first shadchan is God, as he matched up Adam and Eve.
As well in the Torah, it is stated that people must pay fees to their shadchan. In traditional and Orthodox Jewish communities, the shadchan was integral to their lives. Jewish law prohibits the sexes to intermingle, which led to the shadchan being responsible for the pairings. As well, when Jews lived in isolated communities, the shadchan would risk traveling long distances to discover the potential matches that existed in different communities.
The further the distance traveled, the more money that a matchmaker would receive.
Are matchmakers for Jews necessary?
JDate, founded in , is an online dating site that matches potential couples based on shared interests and hobbies. Its younger cousin JSwipe, which debuted in , is a Jewish complement to nondenominational swipe-based dating apps like Tinder or Bumble. An increase in swiping may not immediately translate into lasting Jewish connections. But Yarus said that an unexpected shake-up in dating protocol might encourage people to experiment with new dating etiquette.
Historically, Yarus said, app users have been reluctant to adopt this practice.
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With the world going virtual, several Yeshiva University students are undertaking a tough challenge during the pandemic: dating during coronavirus. Social distancing has limited singles from meeting easily, putting a strain on their dating lives. Several Jewish individuals have attempted dating alternatives such as Zoom speed events and Facebook group chats. Their service differs from typical shidduch matchmaking businesses.
Several years later, both as students in YU, they began to set people up on dates. They have already seen success — the first of their matches got engaged in May They started off small, writing names of potential matches down on a whiteboard. Since both are highly outgoing women who are involved in various communities of people their age, they found that pooling their lists of friends proved to be a very effective way to set people up. Although some of their matches did not go past the first few dates, Ariella and Ahuva stayed motivated.
Our God, Our Matchmaker
Tens of thousands of Jewish singles and marrieds alike have done so through Rebbetzen Esther Jungreis’ Hineini organization. Posh married couples first met each other with a Hineni class or conservative gathering for singles. Hineni also offers matchmaking services. Each year, Inbar celebrates a number of matchmakers for singles and women who have met thanks to its singles.
The site employs many features, including conservative mailboxes, so users can communicate safely until they jswipe to share personal information. The site also offers services of a matchmaker to recommend potential dating partners from the list of singles.
Jewish Matchmaker’s role in Jewish Dating is vital. to preserve itself, fearful of the imminent collapse of the host culture, decimated by growing divorce rate, it is.
By one estimate, nearly 50 million people in the U. While still a thriving business in specific countries and communities, matchmakers almost seem like a quaint throwback to an earlier time. In a new documentary film project, the Communication major and Los Angeles native, who will graduate in May, is exploring both matchmakers and their modern online replacements in the world of Jewish dating. At the outset of his documentary project nearly seven months ago, Burke hoped to compare various types of matchmakers, including Indian, Jewish, and secular.
Selber tends to work with local clients who identify as progressive and culturally Jewish, while Salkin has mostly conservative and Orthodox clients who are located throughout the Northeast. While most people who seek the services of both Selber and Salkin are looking for someone of the opposite sex, Selber does accept clients who are searching for same-sex partners. Burke had a more difficult time including clients in the film. One client found a partner using an online dating site, before she was even set up on any dates by the matchmaker.
Burke ultimately chose to focus on the matchmakers and, thus, included only B-roll of clients.